


First Night in Hell

by Raenel



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: GO!Crowley and SPN!Crowley are different characters, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, POV First Person, slight crossover with SPN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 06:43:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raenel/pseuds/Raenel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Hastur finally gets a decent job, nice fresh soul just into Hell, Ligur gives him more than what he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Night in Hell

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first attempt at writing in first person; sorry if i dropped out of it in places.

“Pretty little thing isn’t she, Hastur.”

Surveying the bloodied, bound girl, I had to agree. She was maybe twenty, fresh out of the world of the living. Her hair was red, well orange and bloody. Skin was pale, like bone or drift wood; freckles covered her frightened face and bare chest. Her eyes were green and panicked, and her nose wide and slightly turned up. Grabbing her chin, I looked straight into her eyes, “What could a pretty little thing like you ‘ave done to end up keeping us company down ‘ere?” I asked this more to myself than to Ligur.

“If i ‘adn’t trussed ‘er up so nice you could see ‘er arms a bit better.” Ligur stood, still keeping his human form as best he could, new rules and all, and smiled at her showing off his crooked grey teeth.

“Oh really?” I smiled at the look of terror on her face. “Did you do something you really shouldn’t have girl?” Snickering, I grabbed her shoulder and pulled. Her arm made an audible pop as I gripped and twisted it to get a better look at her wrist. “Tch tch tch, such a poor choice. Now you have to spend all of your time down here with us.” She was crying, most of her sobs muffled by the gag

“You want the first cut on ‘er or do you think I might be givin’ it a try today?” Ligur asked, eagerly wringing his hands and licking his thin lips, but something sounded off in his voice.

“Well,” I pushed the girl down onto her dislocated shoulder, “You have had the last three”, I noticed that the little greedy spiteful light in Ligur’s eyes dim a bit and couldn’t help myself, “but it won’t be a cut. You can take the first bite today. We only have her for this afternoon, so don’t do anything to rash. If we lose her, it will spoil the fun.”

Rubbing his hands, Ligur smiled wickedly at the girl then began to shift his form. He turned himself into what looked like some doddering old man and snickered.

“What’s so funny, Ligur? You look like somebody’s grandfather, and not the fun one that used to beat his wife and kids but still goes to church every Sunday.” I crossed my arms over my chest, wrinkling the suit I was wearing.

“Oh, its someone’s grandfather alright. He was a right proper murderer ‘e was. Ain’t that right Kim?” She was staring in wide-eyed terror at Ligur. “He was a good man far as anyone knew, ain’t that right? But he had that shed, you know the one, where ‘e used to cut on people that got too nosy ain’t that right?”

“Oh, so you’ve actually done your research this time around?” I said,wishing that I had as well.

“And after he cut on those stupid nosy people, what did he do to ‘em?” Ligur continued, ignoring my question.

I smiled, normally Ligur just tore out throats or ripped off limbs, but today was different. He had been different when they had received their orders, nervous, kept looking up at me like he was about to say something.

“Oh, I done my research, ain’t that right my lambchop? Such a stupid nickname for a pretty little thing like you isn't it?” He was kneeling over her, breathing in deeply tasting the fear and sweat and blood in the air. “What part of a little lamb like you tastes the best, hmm?” She was trying to wriggle away sobbing as he gently brushed his lips against her skin. His nostrils flared and he opened his mouth a bit, letting his teeth brush along her arm. Pushing her onto her stomach, he laughed as she screamed a bit through the gag, “Oh I bet that 'urt a bit dint it? What with one arm not sittin' in its socket an all. ‘ere ill fix that fer ya, balance it out.” With one arm, he rolled her and gripped her good shoulder. “Alright ima count to three, then lets see ‘ow many times it can twist ‘round before it gets all loose on me.” He smiled and gripped her shoulder with his right hand and let his left run down her arm brushing passed the gouge in her wrist and then grabbed onto the handcuffs that held her hands together. “Oh dear, look at that, guess I’ll need to twist em both up and round.” He straddled her and lifted them up so he could rest his weight on her ass before starting to count. “One!”, he pushed her arms up lightly until they were almost at the point where her shoulder would have to give, “Two!”, he continued but moved his right back to her other shoulder, “Three!”, as he finished, she screamed and he laughed as he mashed her right arm back into its socket.

“Well now, that’s not quite what I was expecting from you. Ligur.” _What is with him today?_ I wondered. _He’s acting more like a demon than the beast he normally is._ I eyed him, “Are we being audited? I know you like to duck out every now and then to torture satanists with that receptionist at Infernal Affairs, do we have someone watching us?”

Getting off the girl, Ligur smiled, “No, not today. Next Thursday through Sunday are our ‘danger zones’ though. I jus' wanted to make today, ya know, special.” He looked down at his feet letting his form slide back to the seedy almost comical look he normally wore.

_What the hell is he talking about?_ I looked at Ligur quizzically. Sighing, I gave in and said, ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ _No point in playing it cool, Ligur reads me too well_ I thought as I sighed.

“Well, its jus that its been bit over three thousand years, you know since you pulled me up outa that stupid hole and brought me up to earth wit cha. Just wanted to say, ummm, you know.. I umm…” Ligur’s face flushed as he spat out, “iwantedtosaythanksandthatyou’vetaughtmelotsevenifidon’tshowit”

_SHIT!_ “Seriously, what the hell did you just say.” I looked away as Ligur looked back. _Shit. I need a transfer. Can’t bring him up top no more; he’s almost as native as that damn snake._ “Well, whatever, you’re welcome.” _Shit, what am I saying. Just gotta get through today with out making it weird._

_“_ I said thanks Hastur, you’ve made a proper monster of me.” Ligur was staring straight at me and I couldn’t look back and keep eye contact. “Ahh shit. I’ve gone all native ‘avent I?”

“Yeah, just a bit,” I sounded nervous. _At least he can see how stupid it is too, not just me. I’d hate to have him go back to how he-_ I cut my own thought off and just stared dumbfounded at the wall for a moment. “No big deal, damn snake is getting commendations right an left and all ‘e does is act all native with that angel of his.”

“Yeah.” Ligur was looking down at his feet. Neither of us really noticed that Kim had crawled with her arms bound behind her to the door and was struggling to stand up. “Can we just do the job and talk about this later? I have some damn fine whiskey at home and we could figure out what the hell to do about it there,” Ligur stammered out still looking at his feet.

“Right, that’s a good idea, actually,” I looked and saw that Kim was struggling to open the door, “Looks like the job wants to go for a walk. Maybe we just drag her back to your place and do it there. Closer to the pit we gotta throw her back in before midnight anyway.” _Some alcohol would fix this right up, and if some didn’t, a lot would._

_“_ Right.” Ligur kept his eyes away from mine as he turned to the door. “So should we drag her behind a ‘orse er what?” the predatory, savage glean was back as he ran his hand down her back, coming to rest on her hip. “What cha think, eh lambchop?” he leaned in close as he pressed her hard against the door, “What sorta ride do ya want back ta my place. we could…”

I smiled as she started sobbing. I couldn’t hear what Ligur said, but to make someone sob without breaking something was defiantly better than the norm. _Good to see that all the actors we get stuck with didn’t waste our time that badly. If only they hadn’t gone to pieces so easily._ I smiled fondly at the demon as he picked Kim up like he was crossing the threshold. _Shit_ I thought as I caught myself _I gotta get a drink._

“Well now, that was a fun little ride wasn’t it Kim?” Ligur was smiling as he threw her into the sparsely furnished flat.

I sighed as he walk in. _Who would have thought that there were rules against dragging a soul now? Two years monitoring lines. Bleh._ Looking at Ligur, I did smile a bit. _Why is he in such a good mood?_ ”Ey what are you so happy about, we just got two years of lines for that little walk. Didn’t even get to drag her even. Shit, we didn’t even make it out of the lot. Thought you said we wasn’t being watched?”

“We can contest it later, but right now I called in a favor from Jim.” Ligur was smiling.

“What? from that dick? ‘Es just a human that got on the new boss’ good side.” I vanished my coat, and the rest of my suit, changing instead into a loose pair of trousers and a black poly/cotton shirt.

“Oh yeah, that’s Jim. Brought ‘im down ‘ere meself I did, bout three years back. See, he watched me breaking ‘is friends and when I got to ‘im he said he’d do ANYTHIN’ not to die like that. So I made ‘im a deal. He owed me three favors. Just called one in.”

“And you didn’t get us out of lines? Bloody lot of good that did us” _Stupid waste of a favor if you ask me._

_“_ We get 'er for a year.” Ligur smiled when he saw my eyebrows fly up and my jaw drop open like a moron, “Whole year, just you an me an our pretty little lambchop over ‘ere, and ya know we can’t start in on one job while we got another one outstanding like we do now.”

“How? How could he do that? They’d notice magic down here, he’s gonna get us in more trouble.” _Shit I need a drink._

_“_ Relax, ‘eh worked for that one place, with those glowing metal boxes everyone’s crazy about upstairs. Mmm microfuit or microapple or some such business. Just went in an changed the date on ‘is end”

_Shit could you do that? I need to get caught up on the new toys apparently._ “So what, we have a year off or are we gonna get scorched for it?” I pulled a large glass and a bottle out of the air and began to fill it.

“We ain’t gettin burned. But Kim ‘ere might be. Depends on if she a good little girl, or if she’s all quite and brave and strong,” Ligur was beaming as I smiled a bit in spite of myself.

“Well,” I said, pulling her to her feet, “Let’s have a listen. Now I’m gonna get rid of this gag. If you scream or act in a way unbecoming of such a pretty little treat, I’ll have to rip your tongue out, okay?” I waited for her to nod then vanished the gag. “Well now, have a seat.” I made a chair appear; it was plush and had a foot stool in front of it. She stood staring at me until I had quit smiling.

“Sit girl, we just wanna talk, fer now at least.” Ligur hadn’t quit smiling. She perched herself on the edge of the chair and looked at the two of us nervously.

_What’s his deal today. Special yes, its the day he went all native, what the hell?_

_“_ Now Kim,” Ligur began his voice higher than normal, “You ever, you know, choked to death before? On yer own blood?”

She was looking at him afraid and kept glancing back to me.

“No, she hasn’t. Thought you did all yer research. This is her first night down here. We ought to make it special-” _Son of a bitch, why did I say that_ throwing my glass back, I emptied it and poured another.

“Oh, how special should we make it, Hastur?” Ligur was smiling at me again. I looked away and poured a third drink.

“Well Kim, you ever been cut on before? In a real bad fight or— oh wait you cut on yourself pretty good, let me see yer arms.” I vanished the cuffs holding her hands behind her back and grabbed onto her hand and pulled it forward roughly. “Lovely. What did you use, looks like a steak knife of some sort,” I turned her wrist so that Ligur could see it more clearly, he was the expert on knives, but he barely glanced then went back to staring at me.

“Oh yes, quite lovely, probably one of the little sharp ones that are serrated a bit near the tip.” Ligur sounded like he was doing his best to make fun of some rich Brit. Laughing, I let her arm drop.

“What is with you tonight? calling in favors, talking like that flash bastard or something and the patience?” _Something big is up. We definitely have an audit; bastard is gonna get me thrown on the racks for this one_.

“Nothin’ is up. I’m jus’ tryin’ my best to. you know, show you that I umm. you know.”

_Shit, not good._ Fourth glass down. “Well Kim, pick your poison, you’re from the states, so you’ve heard that one right?” I pulled another glass out of the air and waited.

“Well umm I.. I don’t drink. She kept looking back and forth between us with a strange, almost confused look on her face.

“What is it? Why do you keep looking at us like that?” Ligur asked a sly grin easing its way onto his face.

_Shit, even she can tell he’s gone all native on me. Shit, that just ruins it. This is going to be an awkward night._ Fifth glass. “Well, if you don’t know what you drink then, hmm. Wine. Was religious back in the day and I like irony tonight. This is a muscato.” The glass was half full of an apply white wine. I held the glass out and she just starred at it.

“Take it girl, that or we can get started right way and trust me, you don’t want that.” Ligur was looking at her smiling.

_Good, better her than me_. “Drink up girl, might make this a bit better. Bet you didn’t even get briefed on where you was.”

She shook her head and looked back at the floor. I smiled _She knows, but just doesn’t believe it._ “Kim, do you know where you are?” _I love the ones that don’t think its possible_. “Just give it a guess, you know, look at those slender little arms and take a quick guess where you are.”

“Now now, Hastur. Sure is rough on someone, appearing in a hot, barren room with nothin’ on and blood all over ‘er. Be nice to the poor thing,” Ligur was smiling.

_Damn that stupid demon, that’s my line that's how I do it. I know how to wipe that stupid grin off his face. “_ You’re in hell,” I blurted out and slammed my drink. Looking over, I could see that Ligur was eying me up, a confused look on his face.

“Why’d you do that? That’s your favorite part. Makin’ the new ones say it themselves for the first time,” his voice was off, softer than it should be.

“Because she already knows.” I blinked as the room started to wobble a bit.

“Yes, she already knows, but you don’t need to shout it out. That’s the fun of it. Here I am trying to make a decent evening out of this new little toy and you just are ruining it.” He sounded like I had called him an angel fucker or something. And she wasn’t making this any better, just looking at us back and forth just uncomfortable with being there.

“What is with you today? You’ve been acting weird all damn day. You start off by giving me all those sideways glances, hell I couldn’t even look you in the eye, made me feel all weird. Then you plan and research and take things slow on her. You tear off throats, you rip people apart, you don’t put their shoulder back into place and whisper in their ear.’ _Shit I shouldn’t still be drinking_ I thought as I stopped for a moment to try and calm down. “Just what’s wrong with you?”

“I know I died. Up there when Crawly ruined the war. I know about that. Found out from the new boss, couldn’t figure out how it had happened. He asked me bout it. Told him I never died, but he had the report in your own blood. Said that Crawly killed my friend Ligur, dumped a bucket of angel water on ‘im. Best damn beast I ever worked with, ya said. Won’t be the same without im, ya said. So you tell me who’s been bein’ all weird”

_Shit did I really write that? Gotta quit drinking when I’m on the job_ Glancing over, I saw that Kim was awkwardly holding onto her empty glass. “Here,” I magicked up a pair of bottles, “go into the other room. There’s a chair and food and books. Make yourself gone.” I handed her the bottles and all but threw her out of the room. When she had closed the door, I turned back to Ligur, “Well, I was drinking a bit after the whole war didn’t happen and then I needed to fill out a report an-”

Ligur cut me off, “You filed it two weeks after the war hadn’t happened. Jake, you know the one at Infernal, said you were a mess, all sloppy and depressed. Said he saw souls that looked better than you did after a days work on ‘em. So I figured I’d look into what would make someone all sloppy and stupid like that.”

I swallowed hard as he kept staring at me. _What the hell does he know? I’ve invested hundreds of years into him, raised him up from a stupid beast, got him promoted countless times. He’s a duke now because of me. How don’t I have a right to be upset? I invested all that time into him and_ I froze as he leaned in closer to me than I would really have liked. “What?”

“I ended up asking Crawly, not the boss, but the stupid snake, what it was, and he knew right away what it was.” I froze. The tone of voice he was using it was serious, but still softer than it ever should have been. “He said it was love.”

“He’s just mess’in with ya, no way that I could love. I’m a demon, a fallen angel from the first batch, a proper Duke of Hell, never even started native how cou-” his mouth closed over mine and his hand jerked my head back, affording him a better angle. It took a moment for me to realize what had happened, but when I did I threw him across the room into the far wall, hard enough to shake dust from the ceiling. “What the hell was that?” I stood up and turned to leave, but didn’t make it to the door. A strong pair of hands grabbed onto my shoulder and spun me while his leg slide behind mine and tripped me. He fell heavily on top of me and bit into my neck as his hand grabbed at the collar of my shirt.

“Get off of me you stupid little shit.” I tried to throw him but he was ready for me this time, and I barely was able to get him off of me.

“I’ve gotten a bit stronger, haven’t I?” he was smiling, that stupid predatory smile he had while we stalked some stupid soul together.

Wiping the blood from my neck, I spat onto the ground. “Go to earth. Go be a fucking native there. I don’t need this.” I backed away, not looking away from him as I went for the door. _What the hell is with him? Gotta get a transfer now._ I sobered myself up and tried my best not to pull my blade on him.

“Door won’t work, Hastur,” he was smiling _Like hell it won’t_ I turned and kicked it and cringed as my leg seemed to ring.

“What the hell did you do to it?” My leg felt like I had shattered it, but there was nothing broken in my body.

“Little trick from the boss. Ya know how you’re a proper fallen angel? Well, certain magic works wonders on you, but doesn’t really do much to a monster like me.” He had a smile on his face, it was malevolent and hungry. He shouted something else I couldn’t even hear properly because as he said it it felt like all my bones were trying to jump out of my body. My muscles twisted and I fell to the ground gasping for air.

“What— did— you— do— to— me--” I barely was able to stammer out.

“You’re all sorts of native now.” He was smiling. ‘Well for awhile you are, let’s see how you behave and then we’ll see if I let you go back.” Gasping, I could see runes glowing a sickly yellow white on the door and covering the ceiling.

“I will kill you,” I had caught my breath _What the hell?_

_“_ How is that body doing? I notice you’re breathing rather hard,” Ligur continued to smile.

“Who’s plan was this?”

“You ever meet the boss? He’s as native as they come. Could see I was in a bit of a bind. Could see you needed to be brought down a bit. Didn’t like how you treated ‘im or his goons while they restructured this whole place.” _Shit I made an enemy of the fucking King of Hell_. Ligur was still smiling at me. He moved fast, too fast for me to really keep up with until he was all but on top of me. “So ‘e said ‘listen, we both have the same problem.” I spit a mouthful of blood out onto the floor and Ligur smiled. “He said we both got issues wit a certain duke, 'e said ‘eres ‘ow we handle it.” Ligur grabbed my hair again and drug me to my feet. I slammed my fist as hard as I could into his chest and felt a sickening wetness in my wrist, then pain and heat. Ligur smiled at me and grabbed my wrist. my eyes flashed as he dug his thumb into it forcing the bones apart. “Well now, that must have hurt, suppose you’ll ‘ave to take it out on that poor girl with me” he was laughing.

I couldn’t make my eyes focus, I was just feeling my pulse pounding in my arm as Ligur drug me toward the door I had all but thrown Kim through earlier. As we got closer, he leaned in close to me and whispered, “Remember, I get the first bite.”


End file.
